changes

I've briefly mentioned before that changes are happening around these parts. Some changes I'm ready to make & some changes I am just not ready for.

 

This is going to be a fairly vague post because of it's personal-ness. So I apologize beforehand if you're like, "what?"

 

A ton of things have happened within the past year or two. Some great things. Some bad. There's one thing that has happened that is a huge adjusment for all who was/is involved.

 

Let's just say, it doesn't matter how old you are. It affects you whether you like it or not. & other people who have been through this similar thing have no reason to tell me (or us) how to react. I just think that every person is different. & each of those people will act accordingly the way they know how.

 

The fact that this thing has happened, I've accepted. But the changes that are coming, I'm not ready for. I'm not sure I'm ok with it & I'm not sure I can be happy about it..ever. How do I accept something I don't necessarily agree with?

 

As you know, I've been doing this new "positive thinking" this year. So I'm trying really hard to think about this change as a positive thing. I do believe it has been long enough to let go of certain things. I will say this change *shouldn't* really affect me directly (unless somebody makes it that way..), but it still affects me nonetheless. Maybe I should just "not give a damn" & things will eventually be alright. I mean, it would be one less thing that's in my head, right? {That's a good idea, I have to do some spring cleaning up in there anyway.}

I guess what I'm thinking is, what if I did choose to let things go or not care anymore? Would it really make a difference? Would people notice? Would I finally feel better, truly? 

"forgive others not because they deserve forgiveness, but because you deserve peace."

-anonymous



In my particular situation, I don't have an apology to accept or anything, because like I said, it doesn't directly affect me. But I do think it's a good thought to have in your head. When you think about it, we are the ones causing ourselves the stress & the emotional turmoil. We choose to let things bother us. We choose to not let things go. Sure, it's "technically" that other persons fault for doing whatever they did, but ultimately we can either choose to accept what we've been handed or choose to hold it in our hearts & hold that grudge. If we just had the mentality to brush it off our shoulders & sleep easy at night, our lives would be better, healthier & all around more enjoyable. Don't you think?

But let's get real here... truth is: I'm a naturally caring person. So to say "I don't care anymore", just isn't me. I do care. I can sit here until I'm blue in the face & scream from the rooftops: I DON'T GIVE A DAMN! (in fact, i have. well, not from a rooftop. that'd be scary.) But I do. I care how it turns out. I care about other people (& myself!) & I care about what will happen to them &/or to myself in the end.

 

Truth.

 

My issue is, I care so much that I "hold a grudge". (make sense?) I don't hold grudges often, but I do depending on the nature of the problem.

 

In this case, we all think we have time to dwell in our troubles & try to jusitfy what we're feeling by telling ourselves, "it wasn't my fault" or "i wouldn't be feeling this way if it wasn't for this person/problem" or "ehh, I have time to work it out". But the fact of the matter is: we don't. I think we (everyone) should start to look at the bright side of life. Try to look at the bright side of our troubles. Accept the changes that are thrown at us. Otherwise we'll miss out on a lot because of our own stubborness.

 

We need to either accept & forgive or let go & forget.

 

Either way you choose, it means you'll finally be moving forward whether with that person/problem or without. Just choose to live happy.

 

{click photos for sources.}

 

xo Tracy